Monday, December 28, 2015

The Rollercoaster I Refuse to Ride

When I was a Junior in high school I can remember my basketball coach yelling at me because I kept saying "I'm sorry," during practice or even games.  Someone would run into me and I would say "sorry."  I would miss a basket and yell, "sorry!"  Without even thinking the words just ran out of my mouth.  I grew up taking responsibility for others actions.  I was consumed with guilt and even blamed myself for other people's behaviors or actions I had no control over.

Guess what?  I'm not sorry anymore.

I refuse to ride the manipulation rollercoaster.  I refuse to feel guilty when I did nothing wrong.  I refuse to hold back my emotions and not being able to speak freely.  I refuse to let anyone control my emotions and my well-being.

Here's the deal, I'm allowed to have an opinion.  I'm allowed to be angry or upset when someone I care about makes a poor decision and choice.  I'm allowed to ignore phone calls or interacting with someone who treats me badly and I don't need to give any sort of explanation.  I don't answer to anyone but myself.

There comes a time boundaries need to be set.  I will not let anyone drag my self esteem down or sabotage my life and accomplishments.

I'm off the ride

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