Single Motherhood

My son is my world and brings so much joy into my life every single day but there are times as a parent I feel as if I may lose my sanity.  I know there are tons of single moms out there who work just as hard as I do to support themselves and their family.  I know I am not the only one who carries the weight of everything on their shoulders.  I am proud of myself for what I can accomplish in a single day.  I am proud of myself for being capable of supporting gunner emotionally, physically and financially.  I truly am...

But that doesn't mean there aren't times that I wish when he's having a complete meltdown there was someone beside me to help.  Someone who made sure I was okay too.  Everyday of my life is so focused on this little human being and it is magical it is unconditional love in every form but it is also exhausting.

I don't want to need anyone. I feel as though I don't, but as I look around my house there are times I think it would be nice to have an extra hand.  As I carry my son, his stuffed animals, my purse, gunner's diaper bag and any other miscellaneous items out to the car every morning I think of how nice it would be to have a little lighter load.

I know..I know these days won't last and at some point Gunner will only want to walk instead of being held and he won't need a diaper bag anymore.  I know I will miss these moments and I am not by any means trying to complain or feel sorry for myself.

I am just merely stating I think there's a reason God created two parents instead of one.  I think there's a reason it's suppose to take two in order to have a child because children are a lot of work and sometimes I think if I didn't admit I feel overwhelmed I wouldn't be a human being.

So I'm admitting it, I'm overwhelmed at times.  I'm lonely at times.  I am questioning myself sometimes.  There are days I keep it together by a single thread.

And all of that is okay.  I won't feel guilty for being human...for feeling normal feelings.  I am a good mother, I know I am. 

I will survive whatever life throws my way, one day at a time.